Arranged marriages have been around for thousands of years, and were practiced all around the world at some point. They are when parents predetermine who their child will marry. These two people often have comparable backgrounds both socially and culturally. This tradition is still commonly practiced in India, South Asia, and other parts of the world. Recently it has begun to raise controversy. People are beginning to ask questions about the reasoning and motives behind these arranged marriages.
Pros Of Arranged Marriages
1. The “One”
People who are placed in an arranged marriage do not have to worry about the dating world, or waiting for the “one”. This takes a lot of stress and anxiety out of life.
2. Parental Discretion
Your parents are the ones who choose who you are to marry, so you do not have to worry about them liking your spouse. The same goes for having to worry about your in-laws approving of you.
3. Same Values
Your parents will choose your spouse extremely carefully. They will make sure it is someone who matches your own beliefs and values to ensure compatibility.
4. Close To Your Roots
Participating in an arranged marriage can make you feel much closer to your family, and your culture. Arranged marriages are highly traditional and renowned.
5. Love Grows
While you may not say your I Do’s completely love struck, that doesn’t mean the you are doomed to a loveless marriage. Love takes time, but will (hopefully) bloom.
With two parents of the exact same background, religion, and culture your children will grow up immersed in theirs. You do not have to worry about conflicting views on things like that because they where discussed ahead of time.
Cons Of Arranged Marriages
1. Wedding Blues
You may feel like your wedding is not your own. You do not know the person you are marrying nor their family. It is completely done by the families, the bride and groom have very little say in their wedding ceremony.
2. Dating Deprived
Dating is taken out of the equation when you have an arranged marriage. You do not get the opportunity to figure out what you do and do not like in a partner.
3. Placing Blame
If any marital problems arise between the couple then the parents are often the first the be blamed. Especially if the marriage results in a divorce, the family is humiliated because it is perceived as their fault.
4. Family Ties
It is inevitable that you family will be very highly involved in your life. This includes your married life. This can cause problems between the married couple.
5. Waiting For Love
Love takes a long time to develop. When two people are thrown into a marriage that isn’t based on the foundation of love, it may take quite some time for these feeling to develop. This can lead to depression, misery, and divorce.
6. No Diversity
Arranged marriages focus on keeping tradition and culture alive. This sadly means that they do not stray from their cultural background.
7. Identity Loss
People may find themselves changing what they like or who they are in order to fit into their spouses or family’s ideals. This can be very damaging.
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Important Facts About Arranged Marriages
Crystal is a seasoned writer who has been published on over 20 nationally recognized news websites. She is also an expert reviewer of Samsung related products. Crystal is the chief editor of TheNextGalaxy.com and handles all editorial requests.
Arranged marriages are no longer popular in today’s generation, but many religious groups and traditional families continue to uphold this practice. Most modern-thinking single men and women repel the idea of their marriage pre-determined by others, not even their own parents. For them, going through an arranged marriage seems like surrendering one’s right to choose the person they love and marry.
However, arranged marriage is not all negative. Listed here are pros and cons of arranged marriage to help us evaluate whether or not you can embrace it and apply it onto your lives or children’s lives.
List of Advantages of Arranged Marriage
1. Stress-Free of Finding the One
There is no point stressing out on finding Mr. or Mrs. Right because with arranged marriage, there is only one choice – that one person chosen for you. Singles who are not as confident with dating or interacting with the opposite sex do not have to worry when they are on an arranged marriage.
2. Gives Parental Control
Parents and guardians are supposedly the most experienced and most knowledgeable about life in general, including love and marriage. Hence, succumbing to an arranged marriage gives your elders full control over the course of your marriage.
3. Prevents In-Law Fights
Since the couple’s parents plan the marital arrangement, it is assumed that both parties are friends and get along together fine. It is also assumed that your parents substantially like your spouse-to-be having chosen him or her for you. Therefore, in-law fights are unlikely.
4. Upholds Values and Tradition
An arranged marriage closely follows age-old tradition and values, so it brings you closer to your roots. It safeguards the legacy of your culture or belief system, and ensures that you and your spouse share the same values.
5. Seamless Child-Rearing
Families that agree on an arranged marriage often do not have conflicting ideas on how to raise a family as they normally have the same culture, religion and background. The new married couple does not have a hard time embracing and adopting the parenting style of their parents.
List of Disadvantages of Arranged Marriage
1. Deprives the Thrill of Dating
There is no dating phase. You may only get to see, touch or know the person you are about to marry on the wedding day itself. For some people, the getting-to-know-you stage is critical at choosing a lifetime partner.
2. Feeling of Alienation
Since everyone but you are hands on your wedding, you may feel that it is not your wedding at all. You have very limited say on your wedding, if anything, everything comes to you by surprise.
3. Family Interference
Your family was deeply involved during the wedding and this involvement continues throughout the marriage. They may interfere with almost everything about your marriage to the point of intruding your privacy and compromising your individuality. When the marriage does not work, the parents are to blame.
4. Love Is Not a Priority
Often in an arranged marriage, love takes the backseat. It does not matter whether you love the person or not, as long as your parents like the person and both families agree to the arrangement. Love may or may not bloom throughout your marriage, and if it does not – it can cause you great misery.
5. Living with a Stranger
Your spouse is supposedly your lifetime partner, your best friend, your confidante. But that is often impossible to experience with arranged marriage. It takes time to trust and love a person as deeply as husbands and wives in a loving relationship do. For the first few years (or throughout your marriage), you might be living with a total stranger you cannot trust or love.
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